Toxic Characters and Rescue For Your Personal Growth
Toxic Characters or Assoholics are here to teach you. If we never have bad experiences we never learn what it’s like to solve them and we will not grow. Toxic characters and bad experiences are part of our growth process. One thing I’ve learned in doing Animal Rescue; Adoptions; Screenings and working with other people generally is that nothing productive happens when people resort to name calling for their Ego gratification.
Communicating when things are great is easy and everyone sounds like a pleasant, knowledgeable and reasonable human being. When there’s disagreement and boundaries are not respected, the true face of the person at the other end of the line shows up. One of the best things we can learn is how to draw boundaries because eventually you will come up across from a Narcissist or a Toxic person.
Difficult personalities are exhausting; bullying and unable to compromise. You will meet them when you’re trying to do adoptions and the conversation becomes an interrogation leading up to reasons for trashing your judgement or conduct.
This woman posted for help in getting cats adopted.
Here is the statement that started the toxins flowing: “I don't let cats get rabies shot after 7 years of age; they were vaccinated and spayed by various vets when I got them.”
Someone who had a need to enforce her opposing point of view began to assert her expertise about vaccines. This Assoholic began telling a woman who must focus on finding homes for these cats about the law and getting vaccinations for all cats despite tumors at sites of injection. While trying to maintain her smoke screen of the well meaning animal advocate, she says that she’s just letting the rescuer know about the law. She even made a response indicating her knowledge of terminology: “that’s your perspective” but didn’t have the maturity to understand and use that consciousness of perspective for herself.
Another more aware person commented that whoever adopts the cats can decide whether to continue to vaccinate or not depending on their preferences. I would have expected that to put a kibosh on the venomous remarks. It would have been a nice stop to the Power Play.
Boundaries need to be respected and they are not being respected when the person who wants you to follow their rules begins flashing titles like vet tech and biologist and escalates to Fear mongering: “you can get fined; you can get caught; your pets can be euthanized if they bite someone; they can get rabies if a bat flies into your home?!” All reason has been lost and it is clear from those remarks. And this escalated to making snide remarks and attracting other Boundary Bullies.
“Well, facts ARE facts! just because it hasn't happened, doesn't mean it won't ever! cats are cats! if they want out bad enough, they will get out! also, what if your cats get bit by another animal that has rabies, then your cat/s WILL die from it! stop being selfish and only thinking of yourself!”
It was clearly stated in the original plea for help that these are strictly Indoor cats and the woman lives in a High Rise Apartment but in her eagerness to be the Authority one of the characters rants on: “The law is the law for rabies. I suggest you do a titer count if you plan on not vaccinating. If you are not current and get caught....you can get fined and your pet's can be euthanized if they are not current and bite someone. Not good.” (What a load of Drama!)
How exhausting if you feel the need to explain again and again how you arrived at your decision, through your own reading and critical thinking, that the vaccine in question was detrimental to senior, Indoor Only cats and that you live in a High Rise Apartment.
I have some really good news for you: Once you’re an Adult, you have a new Personal Power - You get to be the boss of you and your mental health depends on you exerting your Personal Power.
Set a boundary by leaving this conversation calmly: "This conversation is not productive and I won't listen to it. I am not having this conversation until you can stop name calling. If you cannot stop I can and will Block you."
Namaste.
